Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
