I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You took a bar mat shot.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
