Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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