HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
