You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
