So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize