i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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