I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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