Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
