Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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