I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
