what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
