I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
why do cheetos always look like penises
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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