I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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