For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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