I'm lost and stupid without you.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
