so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
