That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Someone stole a lamp last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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