you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
