I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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