make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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