Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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