All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
