I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
