I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
