dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
