Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm having to shit out rocks
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
