Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
