we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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