Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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