Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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