Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
