The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
