I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
