I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
