The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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