I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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