can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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