ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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