Me too!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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