my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
