hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
