i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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