my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize