I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
