nut hugger
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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