there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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