Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
