he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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