Are we in a gay sports bar?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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