i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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