is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
