I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
