We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
