I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
