Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
