Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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