beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
