my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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