from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
